JOURNAL
SYDNEY:
Today will likely be my near-to-last blog entry. I'll be moving around to different people's houses and I definitely don't want to wear out the welcome-mat at the stupendous home of Patsy & NDY. They are my absolutely saviors and I will be ever-grateful for their rescue and safe-haven.
Tonight is Gurlesque. I am hoping to create a similar sacred space on stage that I was able to do in Melbourne. I will be conjuring all my inner strength and courage to pull this show off. In Melbourne, I was performing to utter strangers, which always takes a load off my mind. I was nervous, because it was my first time, but I also knew that I'd likely never see any of the people again. The Sydney show will be filled with people I know and so that adds an element of pressure to perform. It will be an intense and "revealing" experience without a doubt.
Now that I've solidified some additional spokenword gigs, another workshop in Sydney, and then off to Brisbane on May 24th, I feel more relaxed and at ease. People have shown so much support and encouragement, that it almost stuns me. Like yesterday, I was just walking aimlessly in one direction down Enmore Road, then I switched direction mid-way and decided to head over to the Newtown cemetery, when coming down the street is Veenus (from Melb.)!! Veenus and her friend, Gil, swept me up, took me out for tea, lavished me with bakery fresh vegetable pies and sweets, shared openly their thoughts and feelings and stories, comforted me with their sympathy and understanding, opened their hearts, and then dragged my sorry-ass to Maroubra Beach!! Gorgeous weather, Gorgeous sea cliffs, Gorgeous sea water & sand between my toes!! What a fantastically, unexpected, wondrous adventure. I feel like I met the two most generous, kind-hearted women in Sydney! I felt like I'd had a face-lift; I couldn't remember the last time I'd smiled non-stop all day. Buckets of love & gratitude to Veenus & Gil.
And on that pleasant note, I'll be off... May enchantment and adventure seize you all, every day, every minute, in every way,
Love is all there is,
wendy
SYDNEY:
For the last few days, I admit, I haven't written because I just felt so lost. Thoughts have been fleeting and indescriptive. It takes so much energy to exert a positive outlook and to act like you're okay when maybe, truthfully, you're not totally okay. So I refrained from writing. But the last 24-hours have been promising! I got a sweet book deal with my work at New Harbinger Publications and that's going to bring me out of financial debt before too long (major relief). I've found some really great local organizers and all-round friendly people who've been so helpful to me. John from The Black Rose (anarchist bookstore) invited me to do spokenword at their next punk show in their warehouse. I also met this awesome guy, Aaron (who runs Paint It Black Records), who volunteered to help me organizing another workshop at the bookstore. Then this other amazingly organized guy, Mike, from Brisbane contacted me out of the blue and invited me to do shows up there. Not only that, Mike found a way to get University funds to cover my plane ticket. Is that miraculous or what?
My spirits are on the up-swing and prospects on the horizon look extremely hopeful. Once again, complete strangers have offered their support, space, help, and friendship. I am so grateful for them. At a time when I could easily be tempted by the clutches of cynicism, I am once again lured by the irresistable wings of hope and openness. If you are reading this, and you have ever felt a time in your life when you simply just wanted to throw in the towel and give up, I am living proof that the waves of despair are only temporary and there is always a reason to be patient while the universe finds a way to send you hope. You are not alone. We are not alone.
Friendship and Hope eternal,
wendy-o
SYDNEY:
Thank the goddess that the universe can provide when one is in greatest need of emotional support. I have had a non-stop flood of loving, caring, heart-expansive emails from all my loved ones: my big sis, Adrienne, Carey, Veenus, and even my new Sydney friends who unexpectedly have come to the rescue to help guide me to a place of safety and reassurance. I simply cannot do this alone. The heart feels too fragile and taken for granted. I am so grateful for this outpour of kindness and sensitivity. There are times when you feel personal doubt or guilt which can sabotage your perception, but thankfully I have many well-advised and good-intentioned people around to validate my uncertainty and give me space and room to build up my strength again. Each of you mean the world to me!!
HAPPY MOM'S DAY, to the mother in all of us, and to Mother Earth in all her majestic beauty.
On the road to healing....
XO wendy
