JOURNAL
OTTAWA:
Sometimes, you just have to trust it, trust your guts urging you to dive in, submit, surrender, succumb to it. Sometimes, you just know; there are no doubts. You are operating from a primordial place of memories woven into your molecular structure, an ancient, prehistoric tradition of love. I feel that when I speak her name. I feel that when I write her love letters. I sense it in my voice, my emotions, my body, my breathing. She's over 3,000 miles away and we just got off the phone and my raft has just capsized and I'm perfectly calm, floating down this river of devotion for her. I trust that her hand will reach out to catch me if I float out too far. I trust that when our bodies touch again, we won't need maps or navigational equipment. I trust that the moment I hear her laugh or get frustrated or see her act like a scaredy-cat or get rambunctiously playful with her dog, all my worries will melt away, just like they always do.
Sometimes, you wait all your life to meet someone that you almost can't imagine how you got by without them in your life or why you settled for less all those years.
Sometimes, you brush up against love so closely that it startles you. You fall out of your chair. Your emotions jump out of your skin. You say really embarassing things. You make a total fool of yourself. You can't even stop yourself from serving up cheesey love guts every time they are near. You finally admit to your stubborn self that you've discovered you're a real romantic, dammit!
Sometimes, you just get lucky....
Squishy love bites coming your way,
wendy XXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OTTAWA:
Once again, it's been days since I've had access to a computer but I'm safely back in Ottawa, thanks to Megan's great driving and superb navigational skills. It's been a whirlwind expedition... I'll back track so you can get a feel...
TUES: I had the privilege and thrill of being on filmed for a 30-min. personal story blurb for SexTV (http://www.sextelevision.net). A SexTV producer and author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disabilities, Cory Silverberg, invited me on the show. It gets pre-recorded and edited, so I'll get a copy at some point. He and his staff were just wonderful, friendly, aware, and I really had a great experience. That night, I had another workshop at Good for Her and it was sold out, 20 people, and according to Chanelle (the owner), it was the most diverse turn out in her many years of running the store. I felt tremendous support and got positive feedback from people of all ages, genders, races, and backgrounds.
WED: Meggles & I drove to Montreal (a 6.5 hr. drive) and practically bonded as blood sisters! We spilled our stories, opened our guts, shared our pains and sorrows, joys and triumphs. It was soooo cathartic. I just adore her to no end. I hardly remember the roadside attractions we passed along the way--hawks, Lake Ontario, swamps, Oaks, collosal cloud formations, etc.--because I was too entranced in our newly ignited friendship. I arrived safely into the arms of my oldest and dearest soul sister, Claire, and Jean Michel who had only just recently moved to Montreal from Marseille in the South of France. I don't have enough strength nor time to describe how long overdue and grand that visit was, so suffice it to say that it was unforgettable, heart-expansive, monumental, and much like a reunion of spiritual magnificence and trancedence. I love Claire & Jean Michel with the force of a ravenous, bloodthirsty lion. I simply can't get enough of them.
THURS: Despite a euphoric-like, acid-like, dream-like trip to a magificent farmers market, where Claire & I were completely useless, indecisive, and hopelessly caught up in our electrical connection, Jean Michel saved the day and fed and nurtured us day and night. I facilitated a sensational workshop at the much popular Cafe Esperanza. It was well attended, sold stuff, and really appreciated the organizer and my host, Sebastian from JoyToyz. Everything was terrific!
FRI: I slept til noon and then more storytelling and late nights with Claire & JM. That night I read poetry with Megan and Alexis O'Hara, who blew my world and lit my pants on fire with inspiration. Alexis, if you're reading this, you fuckin' ROCKED MY WORLD! Buckets of flickering, fireflies of inspiration to you, dazzling woman!
SAT: On 4 hours of sleep, Megan drove us back to Ottawa. We gabbed the whole way back, story for story, emotion for emotion, happy harmony always. Megan, you are my hero!!
mad love,
wendy
TORONTO:
It's been a few days and that's the way it goes when you're on the road or staying at someone's house and you can't get access to a computer conveniently. I'll back track.
SAT: Megan & I hit the road in our little, silver, mini-rental car. We took the country roads to Toronto (the largest populated city in the NW continent) and the landscape was gorgeous--prairies, forests, groves, granite boulders jutting out, dramatic magenta & yellow wildflowers, and more shades of green than we have words for. Just breathtaking! But the highlight of the trip was MEGAN. She is simply delightful, full of compassion, depth of emotion, awareness and sensitivity. We shared our whole life stories for hours and now, I just adore her even more. Megan, YOU ROCK!
SUN: My second (women & trans) workshop was a bit smaller and more intimate, but it was still sensational. Afterwards, 5 of us women went out for lunch and I so enjoyed making new friends. Conversation was lively, political, and engaging. Canadians are just lovable and friendly people!! Our first poetry reading didn't have a great turn out, but we put our hearts' into it and everyone was very supportive and encouraging. Now I have to go into a diatribe on how brilliant and stunning Megan's poems and writing is. She completely blew me away. She is bar-none one of the sexy-ist poets alive. Her command of language, nuance, and emotion is superb. It is an immense pleasure and privilege to read with her. Lucky me!
MON: Megan & I went to the well known Kensington Market. We did what girls know how to do instinctively and without reservation... we SHOPPED! I had a blast. One of my workshops cancelled but that was okay because a producer from SexTV (an international positive sex channel) asked to do an interview with me. So that's what I'll be doing today. Then I have a sold-out workshop tonight. I leave for Montreal tomorrow, where I will most definitely have no email or computer access until Sun. Aug. 21st.
GRATITUDE LIST: I am very grateful to many folks who have been so kind and generous to me. First & foremost on that list is JC & Jen (my "home" in Toronto), and the home of the 2 most fantastic, open, fabulous, funny, and incredibly generous couple that I have had the good fortune of getting to know. I must also thank Rene (from New Foundland), Come As You Are, Sascha, Megan (of course), and the two very sweet trans/women who gave me a ride all over town--heartfelt appreciation!!
gotta run, but shipping freight loads of love your way in the shape of micro-postcard,
wendy-o
